where the search lights find us drinking by the mausoleum gates

crazy_lil_dru @ 2007-03-07T11:25:00

2007-03-07T16:33:13Z

Look for me if you want IM me if you want to know whats going on or if you want my new journal it takes two to communicate and you dont get to know whats going on unless you talk to me.

IM me at    ElphabaxLives
                   xrakkausxheartx
                  bamxbreaksxthing

I needed to change after some things that happened last year needed a new change hope you step up and IM me I would love to keep in contact.

I am now twenty

2006-10-08T23:08:56Z

The day flew by like it always does. October & come and gone and I am another year older. I got some cool things...clothes, movies, gift cards, and to top it all off...A TOP HAT!!!!. ....I love it. I walked around the store with it on it was funny....well the weekend was cool spent it witrh Kit watching movies chatting online and just hanging out. Though last night I got terribly sick and am still sick. But other then that all is good.

Its been awhile since I had shed a tear

2006-10-01T20:02:45Z

I was sitting in my room this afternoon and I was listening to "Cancer" from My Chemical romance. And I actually cried cause I realsied I look at the picture of my Grandfather daily but I havent thought abut him as often as I should and I cried, and it felt good. I havent done it in so long I was starting to feel hallow

Countdown begins

2006-09-30T17:01:08Z

7 days till my birthday

Dude this sucks

2006-09-28T17:15:22Z

Okay SO I am taking a dance class and guess what I broke my fucking toe hbut being the hardass I am I am danicng on it, nothing can stop me from doing what I love bitches. Okay back to other things....Things have been going okay, kinda blah but hey things are usualyl like that on a college campus. I have taken to sticking to myself, I am sick of people judgeing me on stupoid shit, and I am sick of being left out on others.

I dont know whats happening on my birthday I may go home still up in there air though. I wanna be around people who love me and will actually make time to spend with me. It makes sense right.

crazy_lil_dru @ 2006-09-19T02:46:00

2006-09-19T06:54:42Z

So its three o'clock in the mornign and the fuckjung creepiest thing happened. "The lights are off and my roommmate and I are not able to sleep and we're talking and carrying on about random things and this bug black guy whistled then knocked on our window and asked us to let him in cause he forgot his code. So my roommate and I walked to the doors and let him in. And now neither od us can sleep cause we are freaked out.

Okay so I havent posted in a while

2006-09-16T04:25:21Z

Okay so I have been kinda busy but I have an odd entry topc... Okay so I am in love wiht the song. "The Kill" from 30 seconds to mars, but watching the video hads me a little confused. Okay at one point it looks like the gy with long hair well it loks like he walks in on hiomself getting a blow job from a bear am I the only one who thinks this?

Killing Loneliness

2006-09-03T04:33:36Z

How can someone make you hate yourself. The act of being ignored makes you not feel worthy, the act of being alone makes thoughts of darkness cloud your once lit mind. You wanna feel loved and respected and instead you feel used and dejected and the heart thats on your sleeve lies broken and bleeding with each beat upon the gravel with the footprint still pressed fresh against it. How can someone mean so much to you, do the littlest thing and it seems insignificant but to you its like a dagger through the heart, and they keep on turning it. Then apologize....Doesnt anyone realise how empty two little words are. "I'm Sorry." Emotionless words that are constantly used. You wanna tell me that say it some other way, cry a little, pick up a goddamned phone and call me.

Homesickness, its a terrible thing and those who have ventured away even for the greater good,m even if it isnt foreign to them get it...It hurts it makes you feel empty and you ache. You feel like your constantly on the verge of crying and your frustrated. But no one understands this...no one can truly understand this, untill your lying in a foreign room even if its your new home away from home, bit it doesnt hold the warmth you usually feel, you just want a familar voice, or picture, or screen name and you get nothing, they dont understand the need to talk to chat, to some how put into words how your feeling...they probably dont care....they are too busy with thier own lives to care about someone they called friend, someone who was always there for them no matter what and only asked for a little time in return. But hey what else can I ask for, people have their own lives, other freinds....I guess...we've all just grown up and no longer need each other.

I dont want any comments, just think about it....everyone.....Dont abuse friendship I have seen too many end over idiotic things and in times like these, they are needed greatly.

God save us, us college kids

2006-08-28T23:13:54Z

So First official day of college....I am tired my head hurts and I am having uber shin splints. It sucks, but I shall get over it.

I am soo tired...alas, I have dance class tomorrow who knows that that will entitle but we shall see and I will let you know in my next entry,.

2 days left

2006-08-24T04:48:51Z

I have relaised O only have two days left of Living here til I go back to school, and honestly I only want to go to school, "This town gets so boring." I love it....I wanna go, somehwere where peoplemlike me and I can act like myself and truly not have to deal wiht my mom and dad...I love them but I need a break.

And the gummy bear said....

2006-08-17T18:54:49Z

Before

During

After

more after

Back of hair

"Sew a needle pulling thread"

2006-08-14T20:27:39Z

.
Front of pillow one

Back of pillow one

front of pillow two

back of pillow two

My purse

front close up

full front view

inside veiw

I have been bored so abovew is what I have been doing in my free time. If you would like a pillow. Made randomly, by me. Contact me. And tell me a quote you want on the back. If you want them in certain colors I will ahve to charge. Right now I am using scraps ll pillows are 2-5 dollars depending on the size and material.

Addiction realization

2006-08-13T04:27:41Z

I realised I had a problem...I was addicted.

It wasn't nicotine, or caffine or drugs, or alcohol, My addiction is the internet. If I dont have it I go crazy. And now I realise I have to ween myself off my ten hours a day it is scaring my mom.

We had a power surge and I lost my internet and my mind, I spent an hour and a half trying to fix it and stupid me I woke my mom up to try and get it done. I feel stupid, so I am telling you all....starting from now On I am going to try and get on from 9-230 that way they cant complain about me being on constantly cause they will be asleep by then. I just doint want to scare her anymore....any idea's on what to do????

Leave a comment.

When everything dies it leaves you lifeless and alone

2006-08-05T15:43:18Z

Imperfection

A slight slip of the tongue.

All my secrets have been revealed

And left me withering

With my broken wings.

And now I lie in shambles upon the snow.

Black feathers drift on the breeze.

And though the years mean nothing.

To Us, things can always be changed.

These eyes you stare into seem cold and dead.

They know nothing of what you said.

I see you lick your lips as images

Cross your mind.

The smile plays across those lips

As your teeth sink into my hips.

Murderous love making the only way to go.

He slit my wrist in my sleep

And watched me as I died.

He cut off my wings and laughed as they withered.

His fear I would fly to heaven in your arms.

Unwanted angel.

Whose wings were blackened by the fires of hell.

My halo’s melted and here I stand.

Dazed at the fact I survived him.

Startled that you accepted me for what I am.

Imperfect.

[21:45] wolvnblues: no problem. I'll make a deal with you
[21:45] aerosleathersex: what?
[21:48] wolvnblues: You tell me all your problems and i'll tell you all of mine. Anything that happens to either of us we know about it. Sicknesses, death in the family, friend trouble, anything, we share it. As long as you stay in touch with me and I you, we can make anything disapear that we don't want to exist. I have a feling that I'm going to need this friendship just as much if not more than you. So let's not be assholes to each other and pull a shitty ass move like using each other...I think we both have enough respect for each other that we won't though.
[21:48] wolvnblues: Is that a deal to you?
[21:50] aerosleathersex: Sounds like the perfect plan hon. And I can promise you that friendship is nothing I laugh at or fuck up...I take it too seriously after moving around so much I never have been able to keep real friends, and I look back now and I still cant believe I never saw the signs, So I agree with your terms. and can say that even though we may not see each other alot, I am here when ever and where ever you need me!
[21:51] wolvnblues: *nods extending hand and smiling.* Sounds like we're either buisness partners, murderers or betrothed.
[21:51] aerosleathersex: lol....How about really good friends?
[21:51] wolvnblues: that too
[21:51] wolvnblues: lol
Session Close (wolvnblues): Fri Aug 04 21:52:04 2006

[21:52] aerosleathersex: lol..and if it comes down to it the murders we be will be elimnating those who hurt us.
[21:53] aerosleathersex: shall we return to the rp and froget those who have betrayed us?
[21:53] wolvnblues: *nods*
[21:55] aerosleathersex: tag
[21:55] wolvnblues: lol

When everything hits the fan you were there in knee waders to help me clean up the mess.

heeebeegeebeee's

2006-07-30T04:03:55Z

the creepiest random IM I have ever had.

July 30, 2006

[23:55] krugerjm2000: hi
[23:56] fiyeronfabala: hi.
[23:56] krugerjm2000: how are u
[23:57] fiyeronfabala: I'm ok
[23:57] krugerjm2000: i was looking up vampires and i got ur name
[23:57] fiyeronfabala: Lol..thats kinda funny
[23:57] krugerjm2000: huh
[23:57] krugerjm2000: why is that
[23:58] fiyeronfabala: Well I study them for my writings. I am kinda obsessed with them.
[23:58] krugerjm2000: have u ever drank blood
[23:58] fiyeronfabala: Just thinking that soimeone looked them up and my name was tied is is amusing to me
[23:58] fiyeronfabala: Only my own when I cut myself.
[23:59] ElphabaXLives: [23:59] krugerjm2000: o would love to taste u

stewed glued and tattooed

2006-07-26T00:24:34Z

Mom and I had one helluva daughter Mother day

Her Ink

mine

crazy_lil_dru @ 2006-07-21T17:16:00

2006-07-21T21:21:02Z

Okay its still a little cluttered cause I ahvent gottent he rest of my shelves up, Buit I love it all the same. and yes under my orlando bloom poster is like a thirty rubber ducks, cause I collect them. So tell me what you think about my decorating skills....dont you love my bed...and the huge stuffed duck is modleing a pair of dickie cut off with a my chemical romance tee shirt from hot topic. *grins * Thats Mikey and the brear with the skeleton body...thats gerard...AKA Rock and roll.

Painted from head to toe

2006-07-18T23:53:34Z

So I am on the couch for the night. My room is half painted I have one more half to finish then another coat of Primier then at last the blood red paint shall be applied to my walls with finness. And then my evil lair of doom shall be complete Mwwahahahahah *chokes* damnit I can never master the evil laugh.

Okay so I pomise picstures of my room once it is complete and then I may even have some pics of me looking completely hot, just for the hell of it.

So right now I am completely bored out of ym skull and am watching the punish for the umpteenth time in three days.

Um..not much else to say....Mis eveyone drop me a line sometimes I am beginning to feel dead from lack of comments.

I know this hurts...It was meant to

2006-07-15T20:07:36Z

The realization that you are no longer what you hoped you were. While walking through Price chopper I ran into A friends mom. When we got to talking I relaised how much I really did miss my closest friends, then the blow struck me. SLumber party blue. Once more I was a five year old not invited to a birthday party. Will this pain last forever, I understand that things are changing, and we as peopl are changing but does that constitute the right to loose my best friends over stupid differences and ideas? We like the same music, sort of, we are three parts to one whole? But is that whole cracked or fragmented. Do they still like me, am I just ebing paranoid? All these are possibilities that I am not to looking into. Finding that my summer plans will be ruined because my freinds "Out grew" me is a fear that I dont think I could survive. Being in the military I made friends and then soon after had to depart due to my fathers job. Will my entire life be like this a constant string of "nice to meets yous" and "I am sorry I have to go but it was fun." ? I cant handle that jst when I found people who understood me it blows up in my face first with some Bitch who claimed she couldnt be my friend because my parents are still together anmd I dont understand her needyness to be with people who were like her. Is this the same thing? Am I being dumped because My fmaily is together, Cause I ahev different veiws on certain things? Well maybe maybe not, I will never know, because I am too chicken to ask. My best choice is to ignore everything and see where it falls when its done, after all...with no friends, there is no one to miss me when I am gone.

+invisible+

Bang over

2006-07-12T04:13:52Z

Bang Over: A term to describe how you feel the morning after a rock concet while you were head banging constantly.

Okay so I was in a mosh pit...got a few battke scars to prove it. Had some huge guy part the crowd so I could go to the bathroom. Saw Hawthorn Heights. (*wants to marry front man*) Story of the year.(The bassist and I go back...okay not really but he licked me once.) and Amberlain. (god band love some of thier song.)

2 ticketrs to punk rock concert -60$
tewo shirts - 55$
Pins and sticker - 3$
Having a ball moshing with your sister- Priceless

Comeing home compl;etely deaf and full of energy is driving me insane all I want to rp...with someone...anyone...god I need to get laid all these images in my head. Well see ya later that was my night.

pure passion for life can't be hidden

2006-07-02T15:32:18Z

he didn't know I was full of passion and when he found out it scared him

I felt you breathing and our souls were intertwined

All the worlds a stage

Its funny how songs fit your mood.

2006-07-01T03:06:51Z

STORY OF THE YEAR LYRICS

"Anthem Of Our Dying Day"

The stars will cry
The blackest tears tonight
And this is the moment that I live for
I can smell the ocean air
And here I am
Pouring my heart onto these rooftops
Just a ghost to the world
That's exactly
Exactly what I need

From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day

For a second I wish the tide
Would swallow every inch of this city
As you gasp for air tonight
I'd scream this song right in your face
If you were here
I swear I won't miss a beat
Cause I never
Never have before

From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day

Of our dying day
Of our dying day
Of our dying!!!

For a second I wish the tide
Would swallow every inch of this city
And you gasp for air tonight!!

From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day
From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day
From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day

Our dying day
Of our dying!!!

ARMOR FOR SLEEP LYRICS

"Car Underwater"

Believe the news, I'm gone for good.
Call off the search, no one will know that I'm down here
Believe the note I left for you
You can't turn back the clocks, you can't pull me up from here, so don't try

I'm in a car underwater with time to kill, thinking back I forgot to tell you this
I didn't care that you left and abandoned me, what hurts more is I would still die for you.

I'm in a car underwater with time to kill, thinking back I forgot to tell you this
I didn't care that you left and abandoned me, what hurts more is I would still die for you.

Make time slower, give me longer.
It's too late for me, no one will know that I'm down here.
And believe your dreams of me sinking
so far, below, you can't pull me up from here so don't try.

In a car underwater with time to kill, thinking back I forgot to tell you this
I didn't care that you left and abandoned me, what hurts more is I would still die for you.

I'm in a car underwater with time to kill, thinking back I forgot to tell you this
I didn't care that you left and abandoned me, what hurts more is I would still die for you.

Leave it up to me. To burden you again.
This ones not your fault. Please forgive me.

Leave it up to me (leave it up to me). To burden you again (To burden you again).
This ones not your fault. So forget, so forget, so forget me.

Don't think back, don't think back of me at all.
Just let me go.
Don't think back, don't think back of me at all.
Just let me go.
Don't think back, don't think back of me at all.
Don't think back, don't think back of me at all.
Don't think back, don't think back of me at all.

I'm in a car underwater with time to kill, thinking back I forgot to tell you this
I didn't care that you left and abandoned me, what hurts more is I would still die for you.

I'm in a car underwater with time to kill, thinking back I forgot to tell you this
I didn't care that you left and abandoned me, what hurts more is I would still die for you.

and I would still die for you
I would still die for you
and I would still die for you
I would still die for you
and I would still die for you...

"The Pros And Cons Of Breathing"

Bury me standing under your window with the cinder block in hand
Yeah cause no one will ever feel like this again
And if I could move I'm sure it would only be to crawl back to you
I must have dragged my guts a block... they were gone by the time we {talked}...

[Chorus: x2]
WooOoOo, I want to hate you half as much as I hate myself
{But} you know that I could crush you with my voice

Stood on my roof and tried to see you forgetting about me
Hide the details I don't want to know a thing

I hate the way you say my name like it's something secret
My pen is the barrel of the gun. Remind me which side you should be on

[Chorus x2]

Stood on my roof and tried to see you forgetting about me
Hide the details I don't want to know a thing

I wish that I was as invisible as you make me feel [x2]

(WooOoOo, I want to hate you half as much as I hate my) [x2]
(1..2..3..4..)

[Chorus x2]

Mishaps and mysteries

2006-06-30T22:56:21Z

You would never beleive what happened to me at work this morning at about 10 after nine....

I was at work washing windows and the hair on the back of my neck stood up so I urned around and this guy was staring at me, I swent back to what I was doing andf climbed off the ladder and he wasstill starting, so I move it and climb back up it and wash another window then come down and he had moved closer to me and smiled and I smiled bakc and he was all. "Hello, bad weather huh?" And I was all."Yea, but I cant coimplain I am inside" and he smiled and nodded then was all. "Okay my tour is movinh on..." and I was all. "Nice chatting.." you wouldnt belive who it was... i didnt realiseit till I saw him walk away!!!!!!!

IT WAS SHAWN FUCKING ASHMORE FROM THE XMEN MOVIES, YOU KNOW ICEMAN!!!!!

I couldnt belive I didnt till my supervisopr came up to me and was all.. "Did you see the guy from those xmen movies walking around here?" I was all. "Okay So I didnt imagine it?" and he was all. "No it really was him."

i AM SO FUCKING FLABBERGHASTED ABOUT THAT IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME. Another highlight was when the gorgeous Italian professor informed me he and his wife believed I was a rare beauty. And it radiated from within, catching everyone in its glow. Okay I know it was cheesey sounding but hearing it said with an italian accent would make you melt. So yea those were the highlights of my week....BTW four working days to go...then I am freeeeeeee for the rest of the summer.

Love always
DRU

cause I was tagged damnit

2006-06-29T19:33:14Z

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your livejournal along with your 7 songs. Then tag 7 other people to see what they're listening to.

1. My Chemical Romance "Jack the ripper"
2. Hawthorn Heights "December"
3. Black Sabbath "Faeries wear boots"
4. Fall Out Boy "Champange for my real friends, real pain for my sham freinds"
5. 69 Eyes "Goth Girl"
6. AFI "Miss Murder"
7. Armor for sleep "Car under water"

( Because I'm such a freak for AFI's new album.)

I tag:
Adriane
Sandra
Kayla
Lisa
Eric
Adam
Steve

Oh oh oh woke up today

2006-06-28T00:05:25Z

Okay so its june 27, 2006 8:01 pm. Tomorrow will be the start of something new, hopefully a good new, but I guess we can never tell. Okay. I am getting my hair cut. Yes cut, hacked off chopped off,I am excited about this totally, I wanted to do something drastic and hereit is. Um...well there it was... I'll post pics later.